just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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