Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
