The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
