the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
