The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
