I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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