Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
