last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
