Since when is my name a synonym for head?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
