and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
