I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
