I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
