You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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