What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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