I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
