while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
