I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
