We're facebook friends in real life
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
