There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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