i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
