come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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