We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
