ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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