Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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