Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
