he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
