Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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