he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
