At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
