I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
