It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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