the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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