This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
