I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
