There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
