he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
