youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
