I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
