I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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