Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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