This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
