Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
