When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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