Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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