11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
plz talk dirty to me
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
