It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
