Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
