Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
