She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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