it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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