so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
